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09 April 2009 @ 08:56 pm
On punishment.  
It's something I've given a lot of thought. It was always something I had trouble with (giving it out, that is), especially with bri the first time we got into this dynamic - now I have a better understanding of why. In my naivete and lack of experience, I didn't know how to separate kink from discipline, and this was a problem, as bri is both extremely well-behaved and an incurable masochist. The end result was that he'd sometimes act out with the clear intent of being "punished", but as a result those punishments couldn't really mean anything, and I never felt right giving them out.

I will say this much: I still don't ever want to have to punish my pet. I would if it was required, if he did something deliberately against the rules or was disrespectful (I'm not about to punish for innocent mistakes; in that case I'd try to correct the behavior via a little steering first, and only resort to "punishing" if it continued.) But it's not a good feeling, for either party.

Instead, I have decided it makes much more sense to separate physical "punishment" from actual discipline. And considering what a masochist my boy is, the physical stuff is more likely to given as a reward. Try explaining that one... "I cooked dinner for Him last night, and then He hit me..." "Oh no! Did you burn it or something?" "No, He said it was delicious and I'd earned it."


So in sum: pet, be good and I'll kick your ass for it!
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allformymasterallformymaster on April 10th, 2009 01:12 pm (UTC)
That's something I certainly understand. In all honesty I rather the "punishments" be more mental than physical because, frankly, that's more of a punishment for me anyway. Really, knowing I've disappointed you is punishment enough.